Tickle

Weird! Does that count for UFOs?

In Florida it's against the law to tie your elephant to a parking meter. :o I should try that sometime...

In Alaska you can't look at a moose from an airplane......In Memphis Tennesee a woman is not to drive a car unless a man walks in front of it warning all comers that woman is driving.....In louisiana you may never charge a bald man more than 25 cents for a haircut...www.strangefacts.com/laws.html

Women can't cross a bridge? I remember hearing about a victorian era law that said women cannot eat in public!

I hereby declare to all and sundry that it is now the Law of Wierd Nation That is has a king who has been appointed by the creator of Wierd Nation, (me), All hail King RU! See his comments in the discussion on incubus ghost rats!

Ok as king of Weird nation...in the spirit of the full stupidity of Law as we have disscussed it, what is the first Law made by our new king?

Law #2

When in doubt, go naked.

Depending on the time and place it is possible that you will be arrested.  Usually it materializes into the form of a fine and a probation (2 years,or whatnot according to the infernal doctrines of your associated governing body).  It doesn't matter how you view it, we are all ANIMALS or we are naked before the EYES OF THE GOD, free yourself and succumb to the truest form of your own living spirit.  Take a minute of your existence to cleanse your physical ambiance through the ever-churning vortex of the all-encompassing nocturnal atmosphere. 

And if you're female, the court will dismiss the case since "indecent exposure" only recognizes the  visibility of reproductive organs.  Therefore: Nothing to lose......

Law #3

Start a fire.

The bigger the better.  Society has spiralled into an orgy of blatant materialism, unrepentant banality and bad taste.  All remnants of this failed attempt at an orderly environment must be purified with the loving caress of a pre-meditated conflaguration. 

Law 4

Alter reality via the select redistribution of interred corpses.

Humanity has gone mentally inept over the purpose of throwing their loved one's empty spirit-containers into a cold dark hole.  That's a waste of good material.  It would be a more productive world if we all could gather these useful parts and create something that's actually practical.  Flay and cure the skin for a nice lampshade; phalanges tied to an ulna is a wonderful baby's rattle; a skull is an excellent bong; hollow out a humerus to begin crafting your wind instrument that would rival an angel's trumpet.

Let's get to work then....I'll bring the flashlight and thou shalt grab the shovel.

Windcaller says ...

What about guns for 12 year old girls!

See, there's a bit of a problem that I'm still trying to work out. If guns for 12 years old girls are allowed then the 12 year old boys would want the guns too. Then if all the 12 years children have guns, then 10 years olds will want them. It's a never ending circle of wanting this and wanting that.  We can't spoil the children can we???? 

Therefore I declare from this day foward, it is MANDATORY that all manners of children from all ages shall carry any number of steel of the sharp and/or pointy crafted edge of the Japanese production.  Bushido will rise again and the age of the firearms shall fall back to the depths of Hell from whence they were forged...unless I declare otherwise.  You never know when those goddamned ninjas are gonna show up from the generation of the edged blades of youthful exuberance.

Oh no, I'm not Scottish o_O

Hmmm...where was I?  I lost count already...  *shrug*  I give unto thee:

Law #666

Say NO to abortion, eat a baby

You haven't lived until you feast on the pink tender flesh of a human neophyte.  You can gut them like a turkey and dress them just the same (adding those little booties on their fat little drumsticks is so unbearably adorable I could cry).  If you don't have the time to prepare such a extravagant meal, a baby can easily fit into any conventional microwave.  Though you still have to gut them before you shove 'em in there or you will have an awfully big mess on your hands.  But it's really based on your preference (BABY GO BOOM! Hahahaha!). 

Once you've made your platter of joy, invite the friends and family over.  After finishing their meal, they will declare: "Sweet Tap Dancin' Jesus!  That was most delicious meal I've had in all my years!  What you did you use?  I have to know your secret!"  And without hesistation, you will leap unto the dinner table, strip down naked, and relieve yourself with what's ever left in your bowels and, at the top of your lungs, declare, "ALLLL HAAIIILLL KKIINNGGG REEEEYUUUUKEEEEYYYUUUUU!!!!!!!!"

Nope, never heard of them. I know a few things about that bastard Caligula though. Actually I was inspired by a news story I heard several years ago. A couple was so severely stoned off of something, they cooked their own baby in the oven.

I'm declaring martial law...

The infected have begun their assault into the bleak recesses of the most holy of institutions.  A blinding abyss, a vehement kinetic passage of stalwart decay within the constant organisms fulfilling a futile resistance against the bosom of the one and only aura.  No time is beyond the creation for the weak and no vigilance is catered to the strongest psyche.  Be damned these degenerates who wish to impose their detached crimson saliva into the manifold of the ill-gotten synapsis. 

Fuck 'em.  They die.  Now.

I would appreciate a full report the zero point failed...I mean field.  The pseudo-various functions of such a technique appears infinitely nonexistant towards indominable abyssmal absolution.  Donde esta el bano, senorita?  Drunken fornicating undead rats easily deterred with a surgically applied fully endowed mechanical 80-point articulating lime-green glow-in-the-dark Dildos.  Unmorte ratos es peligroly hornyo.  I have no respect for their kind.

Oh and about Mr. Nibbles you say...  I used to direct/produce smut as a child...let's leave it at that....

Windcaller says ...

In Memphis Tennesee a woman is not to drive a car unless a man walks in front of it warning all comers that woman is driving.....

that is SO unbeliveably sexist... and clear proof that some people are still living in the 18th century.

ryuKYu says ...

That man could get ran over.  They really need to investigate these matters a little further.  I suggest we keep women off the road FOREVER.  But don't fret, you'll be even more attracted to those pimply-face adolescents in their Mustangs. 

And I doubt women drove in the 18th century anyhow...

Are you telling me that the chances of ANYONE getting run over are greater if a woman was driving than if a man? Thats bullshit and you know it.